Sunday, September 4, 2016

D & D Flash Fiction Contest

Chuck Wendig's Flash Fiction prompt HERE

What I got from the D&D character generator:
"enterprising Gnome Warlock from a small town on the border who was expelled from the royal guards"

To be honest, I've never played D&D but I have heard enough about it and knew a bunch of people in school who played it so I decided to try my hand at a little 1,000 word short story.

Somewhere on the trail through the Bogs, I got a serious hankering for fermented witch hazel that would not quit. I knew that the township of Clearwater had a tavern that served crispy frog's legs that would go perfectly with the witch hazel. My stomach growled at the thought of it. Clearwater was a good distance in the opposite direction I was heading once I left the Bogs but I had already decided it would be worth the lost time. The soggy ground of the Bogs got firmer and I gained some footing. I quickened my pace; exiting the mucky marsh before nightfall.
Now I was back on the Kingdom Road. I had put a huge gap between me and the royal guards by taking the shortcut through the Bogs. None of those loiter-sacks knew the shortcut so they were a good day or two behind me. If I stayed on the road to the right, I'd get to the Mountain Trail by morning but like I said, this was a serious hankering; the kind that would plague me until it was satisfied.
Clearwater was dead ahead about five miles.
I ran the whole way.
When I reached the edge of town, I could see the tavern in the middle of town, light spilling out from the open doors. It was crowded; lots of horses tied up outside.
Fucking men, don't bring me no trouble.
Walking down the street, I pulled a few stares from some men hanging around outside the tavern. A bald one, in particular, stopped groping his woman long enough to stare at me the entire time I walked past. He craned his neck and then whipped it around in the other direction to keep staring at my back. I turned my head slightly and gave the side eye,
"Got a problem?" I asked.
"Gnomes are assholes" he replied.
"Your woman looks insulted you're paying more attention to assholes than her." I entered the tavern, not waiting for a response. Inside the bar there was enough going on that none of the patrons noticed a gnome walk in and take a seat in the shadows. A serving wench, whose job it is to notice, sauntered up to my table.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Frog legs and a pint of witch hazel." I shoved some coin to the middle of the table.
Her eyes widened, then settled back into her lids.
"That's a lot of coin for a gnome."
"I'm entrepreneurial."
"The fuck does that mean?" her nose crinkled like I had just admitted I was sick with disease.
"It means, make sure the legs are crispy and the witch hazel is cold. Nobody needs to know I'm here, keep your trap shut and there's coin for that too." I rattled my pocket for effect.
The bar wench knew a good deal when she saw one. She spun on her heel and made for the kitchen. I sunk further into the shadows and began rolling cigarettes. The chill from the damp Bogs began to leave my bones. My eyes closed while I took long drags, exhaling the blue tinged smoke slowly. My hand rubbed my beard; I could take a nap right here, right now. Maybe a bit more coin would get me a place to bed for the night?
The sound of metal clanking on the table jarred me from my rest. A pewter plate filled with steaming, crispy frog legs was in front of me along with a frosty glass of witch hazel.
Just when I brought a juicy, greasy leg to my lips, the bald man groping that woman outside entered the bar, found me out and pointed, “There!” he shouted.
Behind him, the royal guard was pushing their way in.


  1. I could learn to love that little gnome.

    1. I'm sure he'd be happy to love you back! Thanks for reading my little story.

  2. I want more of your gnome! Loved the line about the woman being insulted being ignored for an asshole! Ha ha! Also really liked you use of "loiter-sacks". So awesome and descriptive! More! More! More! BTW: I have played D&D and if you ever play start off with other beginners. I played with experts and it was wayyyy over my head.


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