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Thursday, January 2, 2020

Some Very Loosely Held but Intentionally Pursued 2020 Goals

I was looking at the January 2020 calendar this morning and I was struck by this "clean slate" feeling I was experiencing. January is the one month of the year that holds the most promises, the most anticipation and is the most inspiring.
There's a temptation to revisit the 2019 highlight reel with you; list my accomplishments, type out the big milestones in big, bold letters. But I don't really feel like it.
I've seen a lot of other people do it and I've enjoyed reading them but for myself--it feels like a chore to sit and think of everything. Is that weird? Psychologically, I have no idea what that means (if anything) but I'm sticking to the mantra of my 40s which is "give less fucks about this shit".
(I like that I cuss twice in my mantra)
(also, Grammarly corrected me and told me it's "give FEWER fucks about this shit" go home Grammarly! Hahah)
This post is going to be loosely based on some goals and resolutions I have for this year. The overarching theme being "REST" underscored with "INTENTION". I'll explain.
A New Year always ushers in these New Year's Resolutions where everyone is low-key promoting the idea to do MORE, be BETTER, work HARDER.
I'm like, naaaaaw. Don't do that to yourself. That's why there are so many stupid jokes like, "The diet starts tomorrow!" Everyone sets these lofty goals and then when we fail to fulfill them, we're full of all this self-loathing and pity which is really destructive and unnecessary.
SO! I'm making these goals and resolutions this year but I'm holding them in an open hand so that if (when) I fail to meet the demands of them, I'm not going to get trainwrecked over it. But if (when) I'm successful, I'll celebrate them as the little miracles they are and pat myself smugly on the back. Ha! Which reminds me of a little piece of art I ran across that resonated with me:
"Be so into your own game it scares people."
GOAL ONE: Dude. I'm sorry (not sorry) but I spent so much of my adolescence being insecure that now--I do not have the patience for feelings of inferiority. Call it arrogance, call it pride, but it's not. It's self-care. It's loving myself and being kind to myself. Forgiving my flaws and celebrating what I'm good at. This is goal one. Doing things to support me. Because it's true what they say if you don't love yourself first and foremost, how can you love others without robbing yourself of time, energy, etc? You can only give what you have plenty of...this is the way the world works. Sure, you can fake most things and spend all of what you have on others but eventually, you will crash & burn. My hubby and I know this so well. You can only muster up your own strength for so long before you just can't anymore and BURN OUT IS REAL. So be good to yourself. Know your limits. Say "No" to things that you don't have the capacity for. Let go of toxic relationships, toxic environments, toxic people who steal your joy. I can go on and on with this topic (just love yourself. Be into your own game). I'm also identifying and being intentional about my personal style. I realized that many of the clothes I own and wear do not make me happy. They don't make me feel good. I have a few pieces that I enjoy wearing and so, I'm building my wardrobe around those things. I've donated a lot to Goodwill and I'm very intentional about what I bring into my closet. In a nutshell: GYPSY, BOHO, GRANDMA, WITCH defines my personal style. Think Stevie Nicks but without the Top Hat because I can't pull off a Top Hat in my everyday life, otherwise I WOULD.

GOAL TWO: Loving myself and self-care eventually leads to healthy habits. I'm going to focus on my mind and my body. I will intentionally start the day with stuff that feeds my mind, heart, and soul first (NOT social media....DUH) and then feed my body well too. I'm going back to *clean eating. It's not a diet. It's just eating clean. Processed food is out. Junk food is out. Just real food which means, real sugar, real fats, real ingredients. This is a hard road because I love crappy food. Sometimes I crave a super nasty frozen pizza or greasy chips with cheese melted on them, cookies, chips....GARBAGE. It needs to stop. 
Along with clean eating is Intermittent Fasting. This is the hubby's idea. We're going to eat food between the hours of 10am-6pm. That's it. We allow ourselves our morning coffee with real sugar and real half & half. If you take away one thing from this post, please stop using CoffeeMate Creamer. It is literal shit. Full of chemicals and partially hydrogenated oils that will kill you. Look it up.
And the gym: Mon, Tues, SKIP WEDNESDAY, Thurs & Friday. Weekends OFF.
When I fail to meet all these things, I'll be gracious to myself and allow for bad days, mistakes and laziness. Then I'll get back up and start over.
*Want to see some examples of Clean Eating? Follow my Pinterest Board "Clean Healthy Eating"

I love this picture. The man is like, "Oh! You made bread! Thank you honey." and her face is like, "I was going to eat that whole loaf myself but you came home early. heh. Sure, help yourself."

I'm going to try and put myself out there in a variety of ways. I have lots to say, lots to write about and I have this blog just sitting here as well as the Night Worms blog so between me, Ashley (my partner in crime) and the Night Worms Review Team, we're coming at 2020 HARD. We've been talking about it and we are NOT just a book review blog. We have so much more up our sleeves, you don't even know (It won't be another podcast! Sweet baby Moses in a basket. Too many podcasts)
So get ready! Put your goggles on because we're over here full of ideas to blow shit up! This counts as a goal, yeah? I think so. Yeah!
I'm an entrepreneur. I never stop hustling. I always think, "How can we blow that up?!" How can turn my passion into a career? How can this do more? Can that get more traction? Is this too bland? Can we SPICE it up?? Reviews are VANILLA how can they taste more like Ice Cream people want to bathe in?? Hmmmm.... 

*actual picture of me thinking of how to take horror to the next level.

Okay, well, that's my goals schmoals.
I hope something sparked a little flame of an idea that will grow into a forest fire. Or a kernel of truth that will birth a whole garden.
2020 is gonna be bad ass.

One more thing:

Some more Florence Given. Seriously, do better at this. All of us. 

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